Through the Shadows
by zeroislove
Summary: No matter how much he tried to ignore it, Yoji knew something had changed today – and the darkness just kept lingering. Is it possible to be too close to be able to say what you mean? Spoilers for Volume 8!


Title: Through the shadows  
Characters/pairing: Natsuo and Yoji  
Author: zeroislove  
Disclaimer: Loveless, and Natsuo and Yoji belong to the wonderful Kouga-sensei!  
Rating: T just because I think Loveless is T, period.  
Warnings: Spoilers for Volume 8 I suppose.  
Summary: No matter how much he tried to ignore it, Yoji knew something had changed today – and the darkness just wouldn't go away.

**Note:**

Ever since I read that battle, I couldn't help but wonder how much impact it must have had on the Zeros. Like any other couple/pair (whatever your preference for these two), their relationship must grow and change... but how odd it must be for them, practically joined at the hip to a greater extent than any other F/S team, to enter the teenage years and find out more and more differences between them. I think for Yoji in particular, this battle was a bit of a mile marker. However, being who they are, it must be hard to express those new emotions - is it possible to be too close to be able to say what you mean?

**THROUGH THE SHADOWS**

The moon broke through the window, harsh and white, mercilessly pitching the silhouettes of trees and other, nameless shadows on the ceiling in stark black patterns that twisted and swirled as if the very darkness were coming alive.

Yoji shuddered and curled into a tighter ball, squeezing his eyes shut. He automatically reached out to shove a hand underneath the still, softly breathing shape next to him. Under the comforting weight, he relaxed a little. He couldn't feel the warmth; but from what Soubi had tried to explain to them, the feelings of comfort and contentment their touch provided for the Zeros was apparently quite similar to the physical sensation that was beyond their comprehension.

Natsuo stirred and sleepily twisted around to face his Sacrifice.

"What is it?"

"Nothing. Go to sleep." Yoji replied, eyes still held shut in defiance of the concern in the other's voice, hiding from the deep green eye that was no doubt searching his face curiously.

"I felt you shiver, Yoji. It's not like you're cold, so what is it?"

He opened first one eye, then the other, finding the other's gaze fixed on him as expected, calm and inquisitive; but looking at his fighter made him uncomfortable. Which in itself was so unreal that it made him squirm inside and out. He pulled his hand away and buried his face in his pillow until he could feel the stuffed fabric cover his ears.

"Seimei is pretty creepy, huh." He mumbled into the pillow.

"Yeah."

"I… I really thought we were gonna lose there for a minute."

"But we didn't."

"Because of you."

"Because of us."

"No," Yoji said deliberately, turning his head to the side and locking violet on green. "Because of you. I totally lost it. You rescued us. You're…" His head was swimming a bit. He hoped with all the power he'd ever held that his pout was doing its job in sufficiently covering up his raging emotions. He didn't enjoy this at all, the fact that what had happened today confused him so much. Not one bit. "You're better than me."

"Am not."

"You're stronger."

"Am not."

"Are too!"

Natsuo frowned and reached out a finger to thoughtfully poke at his Sacrifice's pouty lower lip. "We are the same. Why do you say stuff like that?"

"'Cause it's true!" Yoji scowled as he fought to subdue the lump that had suddenly formed in his throat. This, inside, was starting to make him angry. I don't like this! What is making me so… his eyes darted away from the other's. "Nagisa-sensei is probably really mad at me for being so weak." Which was a concern, true, but he was well aware that in this case he was just avoiding the real issue – whatever that was.

The fighter sighed. "She's not," he said. His voice was firm and quiet and a little sad.

Yoji continued to study the scratched buttons on Natsuo's pajamas. "How do you know?"

"'Cause."

"That's stupid."

"'Cause she likes you almost as much as I do. And that's a lot. So it's ok."

The Sacrifice felt his heart tighten a little bit, and he knew that his next words would be pathetically quiet and raspy, but he said them anyway. "You should be mad at me too."

"But I'm not."

"Then you're stupid too."

"I don't mind," Natsuo said and ran his hand over the blue hair and the soft cat ear in a gentle gesture that required no thought, no deliberation, no conscious affection other than the bond that had existed between them for as long as they had. Always together, always the same…

Yoji turned onto his back and stared at the ceiling.

"Those shadows are freaky," he said after a while.

Natsuo followed suit and studied the swaying blackness above them.

"Hm-mm."

"They remind me of Seimei. I hate them!"

Natsuo sighed and slipped out of bed. He padded softly over to the window, drew the blinds shut, and the shadows disappeared into velvet darkness, like nightmares dissipating in curls of smoke; but the pressure remained.

Yoji felt that tight throat again, but he pushed it away as hard as he could and reached for his best annoyed voice. "Now it's really dark! Watch your step, Natsuo. I don't want to have to check you for broken bones just because you're a dummy who fell over in the dark."

"I won't fall over," Natsuo replied. "Is it too dark?"

"YES!"

"Hang on."

Yoji heard his fighter's footsteps move across the room, and squinted to barely make out the other boy kneeling by a bag on the floor and rummaging through it.

"What are you doing?"

His question was answered when there was a tiny click, and a small, soft pool of friendly yellow light emanated from where Natsuo was standing. Yoji blinked and realized that Natsuo had plugged a nightlight into the wall – it was a round piece, about the size of his palm, in a creamy sandy color, and it had shells on it. Kio had helped them make it one day, when he dug out some seashells from a big glass bottle after they had said they had never been to the beach.

The humble light seeped small and bravely through the room, almost faded by the time it reached the bed. But the pressure lifted, equaling out with an almost audible rush as the light flooded Yoji's heart and body with relief.

"Better?" Natsuo asked.

The blue-haired boy nodded into his pillow. "Hm."

Natsuo smiled and went back to bed, slipping under the covers that his Sacrifice was holding up for him.

"Now you're all cold," Yoji complained and wrapped his arm around him lazily, apparently finally drifting off to sleep.

"Sorry," Natsuo said and smiled some more, nuzzling into the hair on top of the other's head.

~ END ~


End file.
